Five Badass Popes

This is the coolest thing ever.

5 Responses to Five Badass Popes

  1. wtm says:

    I have to say that this is the first thing that I have read in a while that actually made me want to become a Roman Catholic!

  2. hughvic says:

    “The Marty Hop”

    I.

    But even though the laity preferred his catechism,
    Little did he know that he would found Lutheranism;
    Trade pageantry
    For pedantry
    And German pietism.
    By Faith Alone St. Peter’s Throne was rent into a schism!

    II.

    This protest dance was all the rage, the latest hottest -ism.
    ‘Twas right up there with Fred Astaire and Moravianism.
    “Do it yourself”
    Flew off the shelf
    And outsold Biblicism.
    By Faith Alone St. Peter’s Throne was rent into a schism!

    III.

    Priests married nuns and taught the Huns a new nationalism.
    They turned the “trans” into a “con” to end cannibalism.
    Rome kept watch ’cause
    Prots smashed tsotchkes,
    Quashing Paganism.
    By Faith Alone St. Peter’s Throne was rent into a schism!

    IV.

    Fat Henry couldn’t sire a line to serve his nepotism,
    So suddenly he had a yen for late scholasticism.
    The dons showed how
    To make priests bow
    And even how to quiz ’em.
    By Faith Alone St. Peter’s Throne was rent into a schism!

    V.

    Next thing you know the Prots set sail, all full of optimism,
    For ports unknown to found a home for Anglo-Calvinism.
    What they did here
    In yesteryear
    Made Rome a solipsism.
    By Faith Alone St. Peter’s Throne was rent into a schism!

    VI.

    Now moderns do the dans macabre of Nietschean narcissism
    And superexistentialisticgaiamysticism.
    “Embrace your Fate”
    As you await
    The final cataclism!
    By Faith Alone St. Peter’s Throne was rent into a schism!

    –Hugo

  3. hughvic says:

    tried the link a couple times, to no avail. Could you please give a cite I could look up? Thanks.

  4. hughvic says:

    Bigod it IS the coolest thing ever! And “why should the Devil have all the tricks?” It calls for a recitation of the Marty Hop:

    I.

    But even though the laity preferred his catechism,
    Little did he know that he would found Lutheranism;
    Trade pageanty
    For pedantry
    And German pietism.
    By Faith Alone St. Peter’s Throne was rent into a Schism!

    II.

    This protest dance was all the rage, the latest hottest -ism,
    ‘Twas right up there with Fred Astaire and Moravianism.
    “Do it Yourself”
    Flew off the shelf
    And outsold Biblicism.
    By Faith Alone St. Peter’s Throne was rent into a Schism!

    III.

    Priests married nuns and taught the Huns a new nationalism.
    They turned the “trans” into a “con” to end cannibalism.
    Rome kept watch ’cause
    Prots smashed tsotchkes,
    Quashing Paganism.
    By Faith Alone St. Peter’s Throne was rent into a Schism!

    IV.

    Fat Henry couldn’t sire a line to serve his nepotism,
    So suddenly he had a yen for late Scholasticism.
    The dons showed how
    To make priests bow
    And even how to quiz ’em.
    By Faith Alone St. Peter’s Throne was rent into a Schism!

    V.

    Next thing you know the Prots set sail, all full of optimism,
    For ports unknown to found a home for Anglo-Calvinism.
    What they did here
    In yesteryear
    Made Rome a solipsism.
    By Faith Alone St. Peter’s Throne was rent into a Schism!

    VI.

    Now moderns do the dans macabre of Nietschean narcissism
    And superexistentialisticgaiamysticism.
    “Embrace Your Fate”
    As you await
    The final cataclism!
    By Faith Alone St. Peter’s Throne was rent into a Schism!

  5. hughvic says:

    I don’t know why the Marty Hop posted twice, but please feel free to take down one or both. I feel bad enough as it is for the presumptuous lengths of these posts. If it was my fault I apologize. We’ve all made mistakes. I know I have. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. I can only pray that with the Lord’s help I can manage somehow to put this behind me and learn from my mistakes, and move on. Moreover, it would be nice if you didn’t notice that I am the subject of every one of these sentences but one. So blame on that woman, Miss Lewinsky.

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